Do I hear a bear?

It's 4:18 in the morning and I'm up! I hate it when I wake up! I love sleep. I don't relish in insomniac behavior the way some people do. I love sleep! There is something magical and calming about the way my soft pillow feels against my cheek. The covers wrap around me with love and the sheets feel soft and amazing on my legs. My mattress is the perfect blend of softness meeting firmness. I love sleep I tell you.

So what has me up this fine EARLY morning? A few things really. A trip to the bathroom, a roast in the crockpot, and my sweet darling husband who sometimes snores loudly. Yes I said it. My pillow is just not soft enough for the rumbling and roar of the bear next me? Do I hear a bear? No! Just the growling and grumbling of my darling husband as he sucks in the ceiling. I know he can't help it. I get it. Sometimes I talk in my sleep and I can't help that. But it is disconcerting to hear a bear in the bed next to you. Some nights, he snores right into my hear as he cuddles me to the edge of our comfy bed. Then I have a hot flash and I have to kick him off of me. I'm not a body pillow for crying out loud! Get off me!

So now you are asking yourself, "Val, I thought you love that Cliff guy? After all, you even based a character on him and his great demeanor." You're right! I did. I have been married to this man for eighteen years. We got married at birth and we have managed to stay together and make it work in spite of the hardships that drive most couples apart. We work hard at this marriage thing. It's not easy and anyone who tells you it is is probably signing papers really soon. We are a team. I wouldn't trade hime for anything in the world. I really wouldn't.

This is marriage folks. It's not just a wedding party with all the frills and great cake. It's not about buying your first house or picking out a new couch together. It's bills and family members. It's waking up and taking the dog out in the middle of the night or changing that beautiful child's stinky diaper. It's having your parent move in with you because now it's your turn to take care of them. Marriage is a constant game of compromise, ups and downs, and a spouse that wakes you in the middle of the night as he shakes the whole room with his snoring.

So what's my point? Well I'm up for one. But that's not really my point. Life is precious. Even nights like these are something to be cherished. I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world. Sure I wish I booked more acting work. I hope that my book becomes a best seller some day. I want a lot of blessings to continue to come my way. I wish I booked that show I auditioned four times for. But  these desires don't change what I have already. This gift I have that I call my every day life is what inspired me to write Unrequited. So while I'm up, I will complain but behind that complaining is gratitude. After all, bears are warm :)

I'm Lazier Than You Think...

I don't even know where to begin. The past month has flown by. My salon life has totally taken over. It's a good thing and I'm super grateful. But it has caused me to be a bit lazy in my other endeavors as an actress and a writer. Don't worry I haven't been completely lazy but I have noticed enough slacking that it has caused me to make sure I give myself a schedule. So this month I have been really exploring all the times that I waste on my phone or in front of the television. I'm not a big television watcher and some of what I do on the phone is for the work I do in all capacities. However, there are times I'm just diddling. 

I attended a hair show this past weekend in Houston and I learned a lot. Not just about new hair techniques and the benefits of social media. Don't worry, I made copious notes on the aforementioned. I also had an awakening. A reality check if you will. I learned that I can do better.  I can give more to all of my crafts and still have time with my family. I know it sounds like I am creating more work for myself. I am. But it's work I enjoy. I love being creative. Everything I do is creative including coming up with marketing strategies and ways to promote myself. What I realized is that utilizing the time I waste diddling, I will actually give myself more time to hang out with family and friends. I will give myself more luxury time. The secret? What we have all learned and what I must do even though it's the one thing frightens me. I have to go back to getting up early.

 I love my bed sooooo much. The pillows are amazing and my blanket feels fabulous hugged up around me. Laying in my cozy bed, I feel relaxed, at peace. Anything is possible. It's there that I have a lot of great ideas and moments of inspiration. The problem is that I lay there and sleep through all of that. One of the reasons I finally finished my first book is because I got up and utilized that creative energy in the morning. I also fit in more gym time. I got just as much sleep as I do now. I just got moving faster than I do now. Moving is the key to getting anything done. Move out of your comfort zone. 

I am also utilizing technology a little more. I am not only blogging from my phone now, but I have made all the tools I need accessible from my gadget. I don't know why I didn't do this before. My headshot and resume are on my phone, for example. I am able to submit to myslf for projects that my agent may not be able to every time. I can even access my demo reel link for your tube. I keep notes about my story ideas on the notepad. I make notes about color and hair/inspiration for photo shoots and for work in the salon. 

What can I say? It takes me a while. I was already starting to catch on and implement some of what I have been talking about. The awakening at the hair show has driven me to take it to the next level and to refine my work ethics more. I needed a nudge. See, I have heard that I am diverse and that I am hard worker several times in the past weeks. I need to make that ring true I my heart. It hasn't for so long. 

I'm still just me. I am going to slip now and again, but when I have moments of clarity, I get more done and I move forward. I am grabbing life my friends and taking advantage of stolen moments.

Making it through....

Some of you read my last blog and reached out to me. I was feeling blah and discouraged. It happens to the best of us. Every art form is subjective and sometimes that's hard for us artists to take. Whether you are a painter, a singer, an actor, or writer, you put yourself into your work. You have to or it's not truthful. You spend hours researching, watching the world around you, and inspiration is derived from your surroundings. As artists, we absorb so much of the world. We live in it and breathe it in. Then we transfer it to whatever medium we work in. For me that is acting and writing.

Art is also a business. The logical side of us gets that but the heart side is still bruised every once in a while. Being an actor can take an emotional toll. Being a writer can too. Someone is always watching and deciding whether or not you measure up. I am a confident person. I find strengths I never knew I had, but I still get mired down in the, "Why not me?" syndrome. It's human to do so. My reason for blogging about it last time is because I wanted to reach out to my fellow artists and to give my friends that don't express themselves in the way that I do a view point. I love my life and I am so blessed to pursue my passions on a daily basis. However, sometimes that pursuit can be exhausting and from time to time I get drained.

I haven't book an acting gig in a year. I have had several auditions that I would consider successful. What I mean by that is I know I put the work in. I learned my lines, I prepped my emotions and I went in with an open heart and mind for direction from casting. Just because I didn't book those roles does not mean I was not successful in my task. This is something I have to wrap my head around sometimes. The arts are very unpredictable. The time and preparation is key. I have to remember that there are a whole bunch of people like me floating around this community and this planet. Writers and actors are everywhere. With the dawn of self publishing and print on demand, I now know four authors, one of whom is very successful, the others are like me. They're getting there and making  it happen one day at a time.

So if I alarmed anyone, I didn't mean to. It felt right to get it off of my chest and to be truthful in my blog. That was just a snippet of what it's like to try and juggle your passions while working a day job ( that I love thank God! ). So my chin is up and my head is being held high.  i am on fire!

Once again:
Book me for work and buy my book :)

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Val-Frazee-ebook/dp/B010GUXTGA/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1438817435&sr=1-1&keywords=val+frazee

www.valfrazee.com

I get discouraged

So my week has been a long and good week. I sold some books, I was busy at work, and I had an audition. Yet, I still feel discouraged. I am trying to market myself as author. I am trying to get my agent to pay attention to me. I am working my tail off at the salon. I am succeeding in many ways but I am also failing. I have wrestled with moments of doubt. I was encouraged when I was asked to audition for a local film maker. I had hoped to get a call back but alas the business side of film has prevented me from moving forward. it's hard to say why we don't get called back or why we don't get chosen.

I work hard but I know we are not rewarded. So I am now trying to move forward once again. When I check my email, I hope for an audition call from my agent. When I check my book sales, I am hopeful that I will sell one more. It's a tough world out there and it's saturated with actors and writers. I am so grateful that I get to try every day but there are times that I am exhausted by it. There are days when I think there must be something wrong with me. In fact there are a lot of days when I feel like something is wrong with me. Where is my IT factor? Maybe I never had it.

In the mean time, we just adopted a rescue dog named Benny. He is sweet and he is trying to figure out his life. When I see him, I know that I have to keep plugging along. Benny was abandoned and then rescued by a wonderful foster family. Then he was brought to us and now he has to feel his way around again. I suppose if he can do it I can too. Benny reminds me that I need to live in the moment.  I need to be grateful for what I have an know that life is full of turns.

I'm going to hang in there and I am going to give my book another shameless plug. By Unrequited.
I'm going to give my acting career a shameless plug as well: cast me, I am awesome.
Shameless plug for my hair career: let me cut your hair, I am awesome.

Now I will post a picture of my book cover and another head shot.
Here is a link to my webpage too:
www.valfrazee.com

And it's here...

So my book has been out a few weeks now and it has been pretty cool. However, I read somewhere that I would put a ton of work into marketing and it will seem more tedious than writing the book itself. Man they were right. I have mostly been using social media and word of mouth right now. This week my project is to talk to some indie book sellers and set up some book signings. I thought that somehow my life would change but it hasn't. It's been exciting getting the book out there and not readers' hands but I have so much more to go.

In the mean time I am hard at work on my next one and I am hoping to at least have first draft fleshed out by the fall. I am working pretty hard and I am diligent in writing almost every day. I am also reading everything that I can get my hands on as it relates to my subject matter. I feel like I'm in college working on a term paper.

But I love reading and I am learning so much from reading as much as I do. However I have so many things to work on. Next month I will work on a short film doing hair and make-up. I am also starting to dip my toes back into the education realm. I can't seem to help myself when it comes to giving myself as many tasks as I possibly can. I can't seem to relax. Now I hope to have some auditions thrown in there and a little acting work to round out my schedule. I am in class after all studying South Africa:) Working the grind stone my friends...

P.S. By my book on Amazon!!!!

AHHH! The Challenge...

My book has been out for exactly 24 days. I have received two positive reviews thus far. It's becoming quite journey, this whole author thing. I am totally on the social media route right now but I am exploring creative venues to market my work. While I'm trying to market my work, I'm also trying to finish my second project. Books don't sell themselves that's for sure. I am on it though. I have just joined the Goodreads author group. As soon as I get my email approval I will start doing giveaways. I have already done one on Facebook and as soon as my shipment comes in, I will send it off. I also have little cards on the way to give to people who ask about my book. My next plan of attack is to get the book to BookPeople and Malvern Books. From there I will start researching other indie book sellers so I can get my book in there as well. Fingers crossed.

The acting front is slow for me. I keep hoping for the next big audition that will land me the next big job. I got new headshot and I updated my demo reel. I have been updating all of my actor stuff on all those sites that they say you should be on as an actor. I have emailed my agent with my new stuff and this week I will order new head shots to carry around and a new actor postcard.  Some friends and I have begun getting a project together so we can stay busy and I have signed on as a make-up artist for another film. It's one day at a time and nothing is guaranteed. I am remaining positive my friends.

My next tackle is to find more bloggers to follow, get more to follow me. I love the blog. I feel like this is my second outlet next to my journal. I get to send the word out and hope that someone listens...

So far so good...

So my book has been published and now I am pounding the pavement to sell it. So far so good. It's not a best seller...yet. It has been a journey and now I am starting another one. This next one is very close to my heart. All of my writing is but this next novel takes on a different approach. I am trying to focus on a subject that most people don't focus on. I'm not re-inventing the wheel by any means, but I noticed that the topic I am writing about is not discussed very often. What started out as a story that I heard some time ago about a person I admire has since become a quest. Obviously I am not going to give away what I am working on but rest assured, I am on it and working every day.

In the mean time, I am really proud of Unrequited. With my crazy schedule, I never thought that I would get it finished. What's amazing is that it was very healing for me. It helped me to address issues and things I never thought I was holding on to. So by writing a work of fiction that I could relate to I was able to heal a part of my soul. That's what I love about writing. Writing can be cleansing.

On a sad note, I learned that someone very dear to me passed away several years ago. I had a teacher in junior high that lit the fire in me to write. Carole Slotemaker-Ryland was more that just a teacher. She was a mentor, a friend, and the ultimate cheerleader for all of her students. I had hoped that she would be able to read my book but after many google searches,  found out that she was gone. I cried and felt guilty for not staying in better touch with her. The last time I saw her was at my wedding. I will miss her dearly and to honor her memory and the time she invested in me, I will continue to write and publish. It was my first love before acting and hair dressing.

If you haven't purchased my novel, please do so. You can find it on Kindle and it will be available as  hard copy by next week.