Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Making it through....

Some of you read my last blog and reached out to me. I was feeling blah and discouraged. It happens to the best of us. Every art form is subjective and sometimes that's hard for us artists to take. Whether you are a painter, a singer, an actor, or writer, you put yourself into your work. You have to or it's not truthful. You spend hours researching, watching the world around you, and inspiration is derived from your surroundings. As artists, we absorb so much of the world. We live in it and breathe it in. Then we transfer it to whatever medium we work in. For me that is acting and writing.

Art is also a business. The logical side of us gets that but the heart side is still bruised every once in a while. Being an actor can take an emotional toll. Being a writer can too. Someone is always watching and deciding whether or not you measure up. I am a confident person. I find strengths I never knew I had, but I still get mired down in the, "Why not me?" syndrome. It's human to do so. My reason for blogging about it last time is because I wanted to reach out to my fellow artists and to give my friends that don't express themselves in the way that I do a view point. I love my life and I am so blessed to pursue my passions on a daily basis. However, sometimes that pursuit can be exhausting and from time to time I get drained.

I haven't book an acting gig in a year. I have had several auditions that I would consider successful. What I mean by that is I know I put the work in. I learned my lines, I prepped my emotions and I went in with an open heart and mind for direction from casting. Just because I didn't book those roles does not mean I was not successful in my task. This is something I have to wrap my head around sometimes. The arts are very unpredictable. The time and preparation is key. I have to remember that there are a whole bunch of people like me floating around this community and this planet. Writers and actors are everywhere. With the dawn of self publishing and print on demand, I now know four authors, one of whom is very successful, the others are like me. They're getting there and making  it happen one day at a time.

So if I alarmed anyone, I didn't mean to. It felt right to get it off of my chest and to be truthful in my blog. That was just a snippet of what it's like to try and juggle your passions while working a day job ( that I love thank God! ). So my chin is up and my head is being held high.  i am on fire!

Once again:
Book me for work and buy my book :)

Sunday, August 2, 2015

I get discouraged

So my week has been a long and good week. I sold some books, I was busy at work, and I had an audition. Yet, I still feel discouraged. I am trying to market myself as author. I am trying to get my agent to pay attention to me. I am working my tail off at the salon. I am succeeding in many ways but I am also failing. I have wrestled with moments of doubt. I was encouraged when I was asked to audition for a local film maker. I had hoped to get a call back but alas the business side of film has prevented me from moving forward. it's hard to say why we don't get called back or why we don't get chosen.

I work hard but I know we are not rewarded. So I am now trying to move forward once again. When I check my email, I hope for an audition call from my agent. When I check my book sales, I am hopeful that I will sell one more. It's a tough world out there and it's saturated with actors and writers. I am so grateful that I get to try every day but there are times that I am exhausted by it. There are days when I think there must be something wrong with me. In fact there are a lot of days when I feel like something is wrong with me. Where is my IT factor? Maybe I never had it.

In the mean time, we just adopted a rescue dog named Benny. He is sweet and he is trying to figure out his life. When I see him, I know that I have to keep plugging along. Benny was abandoned and then rescued by a wonderful foster family. Then he was brought to us and now he has to feel his way around again. I suppose if he can do it I can too. Benny reminds me that I need to live in the moment.  I need to be grateful for what I have an know that life is full of turns.

I'm going to hang in there and I am going to give my book another shameless plug. By Unrequited.
I'm going to give my acting career a shameless plug as well: cast me, I am awesome.
Shameless plug for my hair career: let me cut your hair, I am awesome.

Now I will post a picture of my book cover and another head shot.
Here is a link to my webpage too: